February’s Blog: Love & Money (Why Talking About Finances Matters)
Money can be one of the hardest topics for families to talk about.
Whether it’s a partner, spouse, or family member, anything that results in financial conversations often takes place accompanied with emotion, assumptions, and sometimes even avoidance or denial.
February – the month of love - with its focus on relationships because of Valentine’s Day, might be a great time to look at how money fits into those relationships.
When it comes to finances, or any other important subject, to be honest: communication is definitely key.
Why DO Money Conversations feel so awkward?
For many of us, money wasn’t openly discussed growing up. And because of that, we often hold beliefs such as:
- “It’s rude to talk about money”
- “I should already know how this works”
- “If I bring it up, it might cause conflict”*
*In my opinion, this is probably the biggest worry, yet we don’t come out and say this: we’re more likely to use the first 2 excuses as a reason not to have that important conversation.
As a result, money becomes something we worry about privately instead of planning for together. As a couple or as a family.
And these worries can take up such a huge space in your head that eventually it becomes overwhelming and you are caught between a rock and a hard place: worried about moving yet also worried about standing still and falling behind.
The reality is, that avoiding financial conversations can often create MORE stress, rather than LESS.
Getting on the Same Page (without arguments)
Talking about money doesn’t have to mean spreadsheets at the kitchen table (unless you want it to – in which case, that’s fine!).
A good place to start is simply sharing your thoughts, feelings and emotions:
- What feels important to you financially
- What worries you – what keeps you awake at night?
- What you’d like your future to look like
These aren’t MONEY conversations. They’re values-based conversations.
Understanding what matters to each other creates a much stronger base for making decisions later on.
Shared Goals Make Planning Easier
When people are working towards the joint goals, financial planning becomes clearer and less emotional.
Examples of shared goals might include:
- Building an emergency household fund
- Saving for a holiday together
- Paying down joint debt
- Planning for a holiday home or early retirement
Your priorities may not be identical but knowing where your values and priorities align helps you move forward together with confidence.
Keeping Finances Fair (NOT Necessarily EQUAL)
One common challenge is the idea that finances must be split 50/50.
In reality, fair doesn’t always mean equal.
Fair could mean:
- Contributing in proportion to the income you earn
- Taking on different financial responsibilities and ensuring those responsibilities are looked after
- Adjusting over time as circumstances change. This could mean the proportions change as your income changes, it could mean responsibilities for caring for children replace the financial responsibilities of providing a certain level of income
The key is transparency, understanding and agreement — not necessarily rigid rules.
Small Check-ins Beat Big Conversations
You don’t need one big, intimidating “money talk”.
Instead, try:
- Short, regular check-ins
- Reviewing goals every few months
- Talking BEFORE making big decisions rather than damage limitation discussions happening after the decision has been made
These smaller conversations build trust and can help prevent misunderstandings from growing.
Money Planning Is About Teamwork
At its heart 💞, financial planning is about supporting the life you want — individually and together.
Open conversations can help reduce stress within relationships, improve confidence in yourself as well as in each other and can make joint decisions feel intentional and planned rather than reactive and desperate.
And importantly, they remind you that you’re not doing this alone.
A Final Thought
February isn’t about perfect finances or perfect relationships.
It’s about understanding, communication, and teamwork. All of these components help make financial planning far more effective.
If you’d like support bringing clarity to your finances (and those conversations), that’s exactly what financial planning is designed to help with.
If you’d like help turning your relationship with money into a love story, I’d love💝to have a chat to help you create your perfectly matched money-goal.
Please get in touch when you’d like to make a start!
Heide
Telephone: 01525 309300
Mobile: 07903 302895
Email: heide.swift@sjpp.co.uk
